Phoenix
by Akai-Pyon
Summary: Gokudera doesn't think he's good enough. Blood, dynamite, M for a reason. One sided 8059. Akai no Kumo is now Akai-Pyon


**Phoenix**

**Summary: **Gokudera doesn't think he's good enough. Blood, dynamite, M for a reason. (80)59.

**A/N: **Okay, so this is one of my first times posting smut on . Either way, I don't think this is very good. But I felt the need to post it anyway. So, please tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Reborn. *sigh*

**Warning: **Self-inflicted mutilation. Blood. Not too graphic (I think). But it's short. So it's not that bad. XP

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_Earlier in the day_

The sun shone through the window, turning the black hair navy. Yamamoto lay slumped over his desk, still asleep. As he had been for the last three hours. Gokudera, passing the room on his way home from club, loomed inside.

His heart stung and he winced as the rough material of his pants rubbed against his tender thigh.

Yamamoto looked so innocent, so peaceful sleeping there that Gokudera knew he would have to do it again tonight, in order to repent for the horrid thoughts he was thinking.

Closing his eyes, he imagined the baseball player's face close to his, as their tongues battled for dominance. Gokudera would be pushed up against the wall, his feet dangling as the taller boy lifted him up from the waist.

Digging his nails into his palms, Gokudera whirled around.

_Later_

"Fucking idiot," from the darkness of the room, a gruff voice echoed, followed by a loud moan. The moon spilled into the room, lighting the bare white walls and the single mattress on the floor.

A boy lay sprawled, his legs gripping the sides of the twin sized mattress. He was naked, his sides heaving as he leaned forward and shoved the vibrator even further up his ass. The thing was turned up on high and his back arched when it brushed against his prostate.

Pulling the vibe out, he threw it over to the side, still on. The low buzz was inaudible as the boy grabbed a chain and wrapped it around his thighs, tugging it so tightly it tore his skin.

With the blood trickling from reopened gashes, the silverette began to whimper softly when his sweat trickled into the wounds made by the rusty chain links.

Biting his lower lip with his teeth, he chewed so hard that he could feel the blood leak down from the side of his mouth. As he reached down with his hand to grab his erection, he could imagine someone else's rough fingers touching him, burning wherever they went.

He reached out blindly with his hand again, trying to find the stick of dynamite he had placed near his hand.

When he found it, he closed his fingers around the cylindrical object, trying to calm down his breathing. His eyes were glazed over, as he imagined a black haired man whispering dirty things in his ear.

"What a slut you are, Gokudera Hayato..." Yamamoto's voice would be husky, for the silverette would have had the other's member in his mouth, flicking the tip with his tongue while his hands tugged and pulled on the hardened nipples above him.

Yamamoto dug his hands into Gokudera's back, pain made real when the silverette jabbed himself on a loose spring. Blood from the scratch joined the red already staining the mattress as the chain caught on the side of the bed and tugged at the already broken chain.

Gokudera grunted, imagining that Yamamoto would flip him over and force him onto all fours, like a dog while the latter crouched behind him. When "Yamamoto" jabbed him with the muscle in his mouth, Gokudera thrust the dynamite up his ass. He bent over, gasping as shock filled his body.

Moaning into his mattress, the silverette pulled the stick out and the pushed it back in. He lunged forward, his head slumping over the edge on the mattress. He was stopped from falling by the chain still connected to his leg; it felt almost as if his leg was going to be ripped off. But it was a good pain.

With a low moan, the silverette began to fuck himself with the explosive.

It was wrong, he knew. And this was why he made himself bleed and bruise while he was doing it. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk in the morning." the Yamamoto in his imagination growled as he continued to stab Gokudera with his tongue, his hands rubbing the silverette's twitching member.

Because of the ring Gokudera had put over his cock over an hour ago, the silverette couldn't come. It was painful and Gokudera rubbed his member even harder, moaning loudly when he continued to fuck himself with the dynamite.

"Damn," Yamamoto hissed as he replaced his tongue with his own hardened erection. Gokudera braced himself subconsciously as he threw his current stick away in favor of a larger, longer one. With this in hand, he shoved it up his ass.

A loud groan left his lips as he hissed in pain, stars dancing in his eyes. Slowly, he pulled it out and jabbed himself again. He could feel warm blood trickling down his thigh and the chain tightened more around his leg. His left leg was still pressed tightly against the mattress, aching, bleeding, scratched up from the springs poking out of the old damn thing that Gokudera had picked up.

He knew, that, underneath him, the mattress was red with blood.

His own blood.

Every day, he would come in here.

Then, Gokudera picked up the pace. He could hear Yamamoto's moans and pants in his ear as the other slumped his head against his chest, his athletic body slick with sweat. His mind couldn't think, he couldn't see.

Gokudera reached down and pulled off the cock ring, throwing it towards the wall with the strength he had left. He angled his hips, and when the dynamite grazed his prostate, the silverette came violently.

Slick with sweat and cum, numb with pain and after orgasm bliss, the silverette lay on the bed, gasping and panting, hissing with pain as sweat and blood mingled on the wounds around his leg.

With a grunt, he pulled the dynamite out, throwing the now useless explosive into the trash bin by his head. He pulled the chain off his leg, biting back sharp screams of pain as the metal continued to tug at his skin. His leg was completely mutilated now, but it was a good sight, Gokudera decided. Tonight was worse than most nights.

"Fuck this," the silverette growled into his hands, as he lay in his back, his legs limp on the mattress, bleeding into the white fabric. Gokudera clawed at his face with his hands. "I'm a fucked up idiot, thinking I'd ever be good enough for you."

The next day, when Yamamoto asked about the scratches on Gokudera's face and why he was limping, the latter blamed it on his cat. But when he came home, he pulled the chain out of the bin.

He wrapped it around his wrist, and pulled, shouting for pain and the strange pleasure that came with it. He could feel the fragile bones in his wrists shattering, could feel the little splinters poking at his skin, as blood gushed down his arm, soaking the already red-brown mattress.

Gokudera collapsed against the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks as he writhed on the bed, screaming and shouting into the mattress.

He was going to destroy himself.

Because he, as the evil, corrupted thing he was, did not deserve to even be looked at by eyes like those belonging to Yamamoto.

Because he knew those eyes looked at him with pure love.

Love he didn't deserve.

He had to make himself pure. He had to bleed out all the evil from within.

Because only then would he be clean.

_From the ashes, the phoenix rises anew._

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_**Please review! I need to know what you guys think.**

**Should I keep writing this kind of stuff or just stay away from it forever? Haha....**

**Akai no Kumo**


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